


you promised

by murdermewithbooks



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coping, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Love, Spoilers, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:49:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdermewithbooks/pseuds/murdermewithbooks
Summary: You and Din are coping as best you can after Grogu leaves with the Jedi to continue his training. Everything reminds you of what used to be—of your clan of three—and it's only a matter of time before all those emotions take over and force you and Din to face your new reality. But is the love you share strong enough to withstand such a monumental loss, and brave the inevitable storm of heartache and despair? (spoiler alert: it is:)
Relationships: Din Djarin x reader, Din Djarin x you - Relationship, Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You, The Mandalorian/Reader, The Mandalorian/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	you promised

**Author's Note:**

> this fic contains ⛔MAJOR SPOILERS⛔ for CHAPTER 16 (episode 2.8) of The Mandalorian. that being said, i really hope you enjoy what I've written, dear reader. comments are always welcome! thanks for reading 💜

Din hasn't spoken in days. At least, not in the vulnerable sense that has become natural in your relationship.

He’s hardly said a word since the two of you, along with Cara and a handcuffed Moff Gideon, were dropped off on Nevarro after having successfully rescued the child.

_"You're alive! I had every faith in you, Mando—and the rest of your team, of course," Greef Karga rejoices, clapping a heavy hand on Din's shoulder. "And the child? Where_ is _our little green friend?" he asks while glancing between the two of you as Cara drags Gideon to Maker-knows-where for questioning._

_You're about to pull Greef aside and explain the situation when Din speaks up, "He's safe...with his kind." Greef glances at you for confirmation then offers a somber yet understanding nod before guiding the two of you to your lodging._

_Following closely behind the two men, you can't help but notice the subtle slump of Din's shoulders with every step towards a future without the child._

Din decided it’d be best to remain on Nevarro for a little while, to take some time to heal and rest after everything that’s happened. You didn’t protest, knowing he has every right to feel exhausted and somewhat wary about facing all the consequences hanging overhead.

The first night was the hardest. Both of you were restless in the small cot that you shared and it seemed as though peace was nowhere to be found. 

_You're not even close to falling asleep when Din suddenly bolts upright, rasping, “Where is he? Where's...Grogu?” You quickly reach out to him, placing your hands on either of his broad shoulders. He instantly relaxes beneath your touch as you whisper, “He’s safe. Grogu is with his kind now. Remember?”_

_You cannot see him in the pitch-black darkness of the room, but you can feel his body slump forward slightly as you rub gentle circles on his back. He releases a shaky breath, reaching over his shoulder and resting his hand atop yours, “Yes, I—I remember.”_

_He pulls your hand closer to his face and places a light kiss on your knuckles. You go to move closer to him just as he slowly pulls away and rises from the bed. “Din? Where are you going?” you croak into the darkness where the light rustling of clothing meets your ears._

_“I just need some air. Go back to sleep,_ cyar’ika _. I’ll only be gone a moment,” he murmurs in a distant voice that makes your chest tight. Before you can reply, he's gone, the door softly closing behind him. You remain frozen in your half-seated position for a long moment before the tears burning your eyes cascade down your cheeks._

_As you sink deeper into the mattress, you can't help but think of the little one—of his toothy smile and the happy coos he would make whenever the three of you were together. And Din,_ maker _, he grew to love that child as his own, but it was only a matter of time before your clan of three returned to a clan of two._

_With Grogu having left to continue his training with that Jedi, there remains a void not only in your heart but in Din’s especially. And the longer you weep—alone in a bed that has cooled in the absence of your_ riduur _—the easier it becomes to convince yourself that you aren’t enough to fill this newfound emptiness in Din’s life._

_If you ever_ will _be enough._

_~~~_

He’s safe. Grogu is safe. _No matter how many times Din repeats those words to himself, he can't seem to find comfort in them._

_Din misses the child to the point of physical heartache. So much so that he felt like he couldn’t breathe when he had woken from that nightmare. He hates himself for leaving you the way he did, but he feared he would fall apart if he stayed in your arms a moment longer._

_There’s just...so many things running through his mind all at once, it's a miracle he can even think straight anymore. And now that he’s lost the kid…_

_No, not “lost.” Din has always known there would come a time when the child would no longer be in his care and they would have to part ways. But it doesn’t make the separation hurt any less._

_And then there's you—the love of his life and the other half of his soul. He knows you must be suffering as much as he is, knowing how attached you and Grogu had become since the first day that little womp rat came into your lives._

_Din whispers your name into the night air—a thin blanket of pride and comfort wrapping itself around him as he pictures you holding the child with such affection. With that image in mind, he makes his way back into the lodge. When he enters your room, he can just make out the outline of your sleeping form on the cot, your back facing him and your breaths soft and even._

_He’s glad you are finally getting some much-needed rest and thankful that you hadn’t gotten hurt during the rescue mission. If anything ever happened to you, he’s not sure how or_ if _he could go on living—he can hardly bear the thought of it._

_As he gingerly settles into the bed behind you and wraps a heavy arm around your middle, he allows your scent and mere presence to overwhelm his senses and pull him into a deep sleep._

~~~

A few days later, you and Din are walking through town and gathering whatever supplies you need during your stay on Nevarro. Though the townspeople don’t stare nearly as much as they used to, there’s always a certain _hush_ that falls over the crowd whenever Din is present in full beskar. But for once, you're grateful the people are keeping their distance from the two of you. Neither of you is really up for any small talk as of late and you much prefer to keep to yourselves. 

The sound of children’s laughter catches your attention as you near the old cantina, which you suddenly remember has been refurbished into a school for younglings. Coming to a stop just outside the entrance, you silently peek inside to see a class full of children, half of whom are practically jumping out of their seats with their hands eagerly raised.

You clutch the bag of materials close to your chest, a lump forming in your throat as you watch the children listen attentively to their droid instructor. A gentle hand presses against your lower back and you glance over your shoulder to the T of Din’s visor looking into the room as well. He releases a deep sigh, and even through his modulator you can discern the wistful melancholy residing in his chest. It lives within you as well.

A moment later, he turns toward you, his head tilting slightly to the side as if to ask, _you okay?_ You reach for your Mandalorian’s hand and give the leather a reassuring squeeze, though the sad smile on your face is enough to give you away.

~~

The next evening, the two of you are finishing a quiet supper when Din suddenly freezes. His utensil is halfway to his mouth as he says, “The ball.”

You clean your hands and lips with a thin cloth, furrowing your brow as you ask, “What?” His somewhat glazed-over eyes flit up to yours, but you know he isn’t _really_ seeing you in that moment. He quickly stands from the table and stalks over to the small compartment where your few belongings are stored. After a minute of him rummaging through the items, you start to grow worried, “Din, what are you looking for? Will you talk to me?” Your words have an unintentional bite to them, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he brushes right past you to continue his search.

“His ball—the little...gear shift thing,” he rushes out as he lifts the cot with more force than is necessary, sending all the blankets and pillows tumbling to the ground. 

Just as your patience is growing thin with him turning the room upside down, you realize what “ball” he’s talking about. “Din,” you say quietly, so low he doesn’t hear you as he now desperately searches every last pocket of his flight suit. 

You slowly approach him while reaching into the small satchel wrapped around your waist. “ _Cyare_ ,” you say with a bit more strength in your voice, finally capturing his attention. His eyes are wild as you place a shaky hand on his arm. You hold out the other and turn your wrist palm-up, opening your fist to reveal the metal ball he was frantically searching for.

Grogu’s favorite toy.

Din stares at the object in your hand for an indefinite amount of time until, finally, he turns his body to face you completely. His hands carefully come together beneath yours, cupping the back of your hand as if you’re holding the most precious jewel in the galaxy. 

His lower lip trembles as the ball slowly rolls out of your palm and into his callused hands. “He–” Din’s voice breaks, your heart doing the same when fresh tears roll down his cheeks. Your vision begins to blur, but the agony lining Din’s features is clearer than ever as he falls to his knees before you, nearly knocking you over in the process.

He wraps an arm around your waist to hold you up as he buries his face in your stomach, the metal ball clutched in his fist. His sobs are gut-wrenching even while being muffled by the softness of your belly—every gasp of anguish like a blade to your heart. You wrap your arms around him as best you can in this position, cradling his head flush against your middle as you hunch over and weep with him. 

His other arm wraps around you, the incredible strength of his embrace nearly suffocating you. But you need him—his closeness as well as this cathartic release—more than you need your next breath of air. His tears seep through your shirt, his rapid breaths both cooling and warming your skin at the same time.

You’re not sure how much time passes. But if the numbness in your feet is any indication, it must have been a long while. Eventually, his sobs morph into quiet sniffles, and his grip around your waist loosens enough to allow feeling back into your legs.

“M-my love,” you stammer, your breaths coming in short pants as you try to calm your own tears. Din squeezes tightly around your middle the same moment he presses his lips to your stomach—a silent thank you. He glances up at you through those beautiful lashes of his, now wet with sorrow, and you find yourself lost for a moment in the deep browns of his pleading eyes. 

You gently swipe your thumbs along his cheekbones, wiping away whatever wetness you can before pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. He closes his eyes and takes a deep, shuddering breath as you slowly sink to your knees as well. 

“My love–” you start again, swallowing past the lump in your throat before continuing “–I know nothing I say or do will make it hurt any less. And I–I miss him too...s-so much.” Your voice cracks and you screw your eyes shut for fear of more tears escaping until a warm hand touches your cheek.

Blurry eyes meet soft, compassionate ones, and they give you the strength you need to speak your truth. “He is and always will be our son. Nothing and no one will ever replace him in our hearts...and we _will_ see him again, okay? We promised— _you_ promised him that we would be a family again, and I know—with _every fiber_ in my being—that it will be so. Because we keep our promises, right?”

Din slowly nods, your words echoing in the silence that falls between you. Your heart swells at the look in his eyes—a look you haven’t seen in weeks. It is one of hope and wonder...and of life. His thumb strokes your cheek just as you rest your palm on his chest, his heart bounding beneath your touch. 

The tears on his skin have long since dried, though his eyes remain slightly glossy. You reach for his other hand—the one clutching Grogu’s metal ball—and hold it close to your chest before leaning forward and resting your forehead against his. “I love you more than anything in the universe, _cyare_. I know deep in my bones that we’ll be okay— _you_ will be okay.”

The hand he had resting on your cheek smooths down your neck, his fingers weaving into your hair and cradling your head. He brings his lips to yours in the most gentle kiss the two of you have ever shared. The salt of his skin is a stark contrast to the softness of his lips. Your breath shudders when his tongue just barely caresses yours, the kiss growing deeper as he scoots his body closer to yours.

“Thank you, _cyar’ika_ ,” he mumbles against your lips, his warm breath sending tingles down your spine. He pulls back to look you in the eyes as he places the ball back into the center of your palm, his hand closing around yours. His voice is just above a whisper as he says, “There is no one else I wish to spend the rest of my days with. You hold my very heart in your hands and...I know you will keep it safe.” 

The double meaning behind his words is enough to send another tear rolling down your cheek as you accept the object that’s come to mean so much to you and your _riduur_. 

As color returns to Din’s cheeks, and life shines through his eyes once again, you realize hope had never truly left him. It was always there, beneath the armor. 

And it always will be.

~~~

_I’ve lived a million and one moments throughout my life, but not a single one of them could ever compare to what I'm feeling right now, with you_ , Din thinks as he pulls you into his arms. For the first time in a long while, something akin to hope stirs within him—it’s a feeling that can only be reignited by someone who understands the type of loss he’s experienced and the sacrifices he’s made to protect the ones he loves.

Someone like you.

He rests his hands on your waist and buries his face in the crook of your neck, pressing slow, soft kisses along your skin. You card your fingers through his hair, gently massaging his scalp and pulling him closer as the two of you become lost in each other’s arms. 

No, not “lost.” Never lost. In your arms, he finds his true self—the one he keeps hidden from his life outside these four walls. Though these days, he’s been seeing more and more of that person shine through his usual brooding and intimidating demeanor—and it’s all because of you. You are his and he is yours, in every sense that someone can belong to and with another being. And as long as there is blood in his veins and breath in his lungs, he will never stop fighting to be with you.

The two of you take your time discarding each other’s clothing—Din leaving soft kisses on every part of your body that’s exposed to him, and you lovingly caressing every part of his skin you can reach. Before he met you, the only touch he felt on his body was that from his own scarred hands, quickly and roughly fulfilling whatever need he had at the time. But since you’ve been in his life, he’s known nothing but soft caresses filled with warmth and love and compassion. 

Your bodies become joined like they have so many times before, his senses becoming overwhelmed by your every kiss, your every moan, your every whisper of his name. The very touch of you purifies his soul, leaving only the love you so willingly give. 

And as your love continues to bloom throughout his entire being, so does the promise of his family becoming whole again flourish into his very reason for existence.

~~~~~~~~

_**cyar’ika** _ _\- darling / beloved / sweetheart_

_**riduur** _ _\- partner / spouse_

_**cyare** _ _\- beloved_


End file.
